The rise of dating apps as a playground for predators - videohaat.com
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coming up I met my rapist on a dating
app the sinister world of online love
he's almost a second global pandemic
exposing a virtual hunting ground one
click the stranger's already in the
bedroom where no one is safe she goes "I
went and met someone after school today
he wasn't a 15-year-old boy at all."
That's next on 60 Minutes
it used to be relatively easy when love
was in the air those lucky enough to be
touched by it simply got on with working
out its wonder now though love is just
as likely to be searched for on a
computer or smartphone and while there
are many many success stories this is
not one of them and that's because
online matchmaking has been well and
truly hijacked by evil internet dating
has led to an unprecedented rise in
sexual violence a wave of crime so
extensive and so serious experts are
likening it to a second global pandemic
and a warning this story is confronting
[Music]
longing for a loving hopefully long-term
relationship and looking for it online
is nothing unusual these
days it was actually my first time using
a dating app but even so when Sarah
Rosenberg matched with a man on the
dating app Bumble she was
apprehensive part excitement part nerves
she decided to take things slowly
how long after connecting or matching
online did you meet in person it was a
few months and once I saw him the first
time it didn't stop we saw each other
pretty much every day after
[Music]
that at first things went well but then
one night the unimaginable happened
sarah who was unwell told her boyfriend
she couldn't be intimate being
vulnerable sparked a violent assault
that would change her life
forever he was saying to me while he was
beginning to to thrust "I knew you never
loved me i knew you were thinking about
other boys when you were with me." I
started kicking my legs and trying to
get some leverage and and pull him off
me the details are confronting and it
gets worse it started escalating until I
was screaming in his ear stop and then
he put his hand around my throat and he
used my neck as leverage so he was
choking you while he was raping you yeah
and I was pulling and pulling and
finally he let go and I remember just
gasping for breath and he reached beside
my head and grabbed a pillow and he
slammed it on my face pressed his hands
down and smoothed it really tight and
pushed
and I remember when he was done he let
go and I just crumpled sarah is
incredibly brave to speak out sadly
she's one of a growing number of people
experiencing sexual violence after
meeting someone on a dating app the
Australian Institute of Criminology
surveyed 10,000 people and a staggering
74% had been on the receiving end of
sexual violence either online or in
person that's three out of four users i
think it's bigger than we could imagine
this is causing harm to emotional to
mental health to physical well-being at
a scale that that we I don't think we
could have ever predicted and that most
people professionals parents caregivers
are unaware of absolutely so it's going
to be really Doctors Joanna Tully and
Janine Rouse are forensic specialists
for the past decade they've been
treating a growing register of sex crime
victims who met their offenders online
sexual assault it seemed to me that
these victims had an added complexity to
their sexual assaults like there was an
added layer of shame um and stigma shame
that they had swiped right on um the
person that would eventually um sexually
assault them and just this difficulty
reconciling the violent sexual assault
that happened with the the charming
online persona of that person beforehand
they felt they really knew them
young single mom B was ready for a new
start when she started scrolling the
apps what were you looking for love yeah
probably desperately looking for love
she met up with her offender just hours
after matching online bee was hoping for
romance but he had other ideas i was
having a weekend away from my home with
family so I thought I'd meet up with
someone you know close by he was
handsome he had a job the conversation
was pretty normal flowed he didn't seem
to mind that I was a mother he looked
safe at what point did you start to feel
uncomfortable when he wanted to hook up
kiss uh I let that happen and I sort of
wanted to end it there um but he wanted
more in the car in public in the car
park and I said no but no he didn't want
to take no for an
answer so he hopped over the center
console
and laid on top of me in the front
passenger seat he really pressed himself
right down chest to chest making it
clear that I wasn't going to move um
that he had a power over me and then
that's when I
was freaking out in my head
um yeah will I get out of this car and
how much further is this going to go
be made it clear that I wasn't going to
leave without something
it was an awful predicament bee realized
too late that she was in danger and she
had no way of escaping he was like "Yeah
you're going to give me oral sex or I'm
just going to keep driving." And then he
did eventually pull over on the side of
the road
um and um had to give him what he wanted
and when he left you on the side of the
road how were you feeling
really really horrible disgusting
dirty disappointed in myself for putting
myself in that position where have we
got that these doctors hear stories like
these far too often and they're
determined to do something about it um
what do you see assuming you see the
very the very worst cases of users of
these sites who end up in in your
clinics there are cases for example now
multiple cases where victims have gone
to meet someone in real life and it's
not just that person that was there
they've invited multiple other buddies
um and the victim is sexually assaulted
by multiple people there are other cases
where the victim might go to the
offender's house and um you think that
things are going to be fairly relaxed
and they're going to have a meal etc and
and um the offender has has other ideas
and doors are locked and um that victim
is no longer free to leave the platforms
are being used to meet victims now it's
sharing images blackmail sextortion and
now we're even seeing instructional so
online space is being used to share
howto guides of how to sexually assault
people or how to facilitate um the
drugging of people to sexually assault
them i mean this is this is how quickly
the use of online spaces has evolved
for most who fall victim to sexual
violence the thought of pressing charges
is overwhelming be was too scared and
ashamed to report her incident or the
man
involved i just thought I'm so
stupid yeah you feel really really dumb
i should never have gotten in the car i
went home I had a shower and act like it
never happened there must be so many
cases that go unreported
absolutely i mean that's what we see is
the tip of the iceberg but it's long
been our concern that particularly for
technology facilitated sexual assault
there are those additional barriers to
reporting um and a lot of that um was I
complicit i I went there i I liked this
person i was um I connected I I shared
images i did all these things did I ask
for this is this my fault it's my fault
this is not their fault
perhaps most disturbing has been the
discovery that children are getting
caught up in this murky
world coming up the growing number of
kids meeting their abusers online with
one click in your room of your
child the stranger is already in the
bedroom
forensics is all about gathering
evidence as a specialist in child sexual
assault cases this is where Dr joanna
Tully does some of her toughest but most
important work and alarmingly she's
seeing an increasing number of underage
victims who have been active on dating
and social media
sites so how many of your assaults would
have some connection to an online site
so in our data of the children that um
came to us reporting a technology
facilitated sexual assault 50% of those
had met their offender using Snapchat
50% that's a huge number
and it's not just social media dr tully
says children are accessing adult dating
sites and the consequences are dire
you could argue that what we are
encountering here is almost a second
global pandemic of the 21st century in
terms of the sheer scale of child abuse
and exploitation in the online
space it's a terrifying reality mom
Allison has lived since her daughter
accepted a friend request from a boy who
said he was 15 on the messaging service
Snapchat 4 years ago her daughter was
looking for friendship they chatted for
just 5 days then agreed to meet up at a
train station where she was lured into a
toilet cubicle what happened next was
swift and
brutal he was actually 19 he wasn't a
15-year-old boy at all and he goes "We
need to find a room." And she's like
"What?" And then he he let her into the
cubicle and she froze he stood between
her and the door of the
cubicle
and he asked her to give him oral sex he
asked her to let him have anal sex with
her and also vaginal
sex and um he took photos throughout
getting her he knew exactly what he
wanted
traumatized alone and still in shock the
teenager made her way home and she went
to her room so I followed her said "What
happened?" She said "Nothing nothing
nothing i just need to have a shower i
just need to have a shower i just need
to have a shower." And I was like "Oh."
And then it came out in the next couple
of minutes
that that she'd been raped at a train
station by someone she had met online
and she said "I need to have a shower."
And I said "Well I'm only sorry darling
but you can't you can't have a
shower because I I know in my head you
need to do a rape kit." And I ran out to
the
street i grab my hand my phone and I
called
triple0 police went to the toilet
cubicle they collected evidence then
tracked down the man responsible but
under the consent laws at the time he
couldn't be
charged because she didn't fight because
she didn't verbally say no she they said
it's they're going to press charges he
got off it's got free he got interviewed
he said "Yep I did all of that." He
didn't deny any of it
people put a lot of money into having
security for their house and locks and
doors and cameras to keep people out you
don't realize that a a device in a
bedroom has already let the entire world
in and with one
click in your room of your
child the stranger's already in the
bedroom
it's one of the toughest areas for law
enforcement and no one knows that better
than Superintendent Jane Doaty as chief
of the New South Wales Sex Crimes Unit
she and her team see the very worst of
humanity and much of it is now
presenting online
in my 34 years of policing you think
you've seen it all and then you see
something else unfortunately there are
bad actors everywhere whether that's in
the real world or the online world um
and it's about us and everyone the
community the dating apps the e safety
the police everyone working together to
make it as safe as we can and one of the
biggest ways we can do that is
protecting ourselves and our children by
educating ourselves being aware of
things like mothers that are on dating
sites don't tell people about your kids
at the start because we do have
offenders that will start a relationship
with a single mother she thinks it's to
have a rel a romantic relationship with
her but it's actually about getting
access to their kids so it's about
making ourselves aware protecting
ourselves and and putting up that little
bit of a shield to make dating apps
safer Australia has a new code of
conduct which came into force last month
it's a world first and requires the apps
to keep a firm eye on users making
reporting easier and banning offenders
it sounds like a good step but here's
the catch for the app companies it's
voluntary
the bottom line is there is nothing to
stop a rapist or a domestic violence
offender from jumping on any dating app
matching with any woman or man and
repeating that behavior and that's where
the code of conduct for the apps comes
in in that once they're reported to them
they have certain obligations in terms
of enforcement though that code is is
pretty toothless isn't it well it's more
than we had previously and the e safety
commissioner are continuing to work to
strengthen their powers in relation to
those i mean surely there could be a
screening process where if you are an
offender there's got to be a red flag to
let other people on those sites know we
welcome all of these changes and we work
closely with e safety so that we make
sure that we're all moving in the same
direction
it's hardly surprising that a growing
number of Australians are moving in an
entirely different
direction amazing disenchantment with
the online experience has revived
in-person
matchmaking what are you looking for
tonight i think the same thing everyone
that's here is looking for really just
um a significant other something
meaningful uh someone to share your life
with really make sure your name tag is
clearly visible throughout the night so
your daters know who they're dating
tonight 26 strangers are meeting at a
Sydney bar hoping to form a connection
and there's not a smartphone in sight
[Music]
i'd say in the
past I'm talking about many Brenda Van
started her company dating apps suck 3
years ago after hearing and experiencing
disaster stories business has never been
better what do your events offer that
the apps
don't i would personally say it's that
human element so with apps everything's
been very digitized everything has pay
walls behind it they've gathed the
system of dating in order to make money
what sort of stories do your users tell
you about bad experiences well too many
to count women don't feel safe women
don't feel like they want to use the
apps anymore it's not trusted we don't
know who the guys are are the apps about
looking for love or looking for sex i
think it's both i think it gets the
lines are so blurred in there there's
people looking for love there's people
looking for sex and I found the biggest
challenge is for the people looking for
love to find the other people looking
for love come here sarah Rosenberg
thought she'd found love on an app but
ended up in a harrowing court process
after reporting that the man she met
online had violently raped her was he
charged he was charged of your assault
he was charged with two counts of rape
two of suffocation and two of strangling
ultimately Sarah didn't get the justice
she so desperately
wanted he was found not guilty on all
six counts a trial scheduled for 1 month
was collapsed in 7
days it really felt like a fast like why
are we even pretending rape is a crime
if this was going to happen and next
time maybe he'll have a knife and the
girl won't be so lucky and there'll be
really different charges that he's up
for
okay allison and her husband Rian tell
us their daughter has come a long way
since her attack now 21 she's working as
a nurse in the public health system
she's doing a great job but it it's been
a bit of a hard climb it's been a really
hard climb
these women have survived the very worst
modern technology has to
offer a space that's evolving at an
alarming pace with clearly inadequate
protections the challenge for us all is
to get ahead of it how do you approach
the apps now given your experience what
would be your advice for other users
trust your gut talk to your friends the
onus shouldn't be on us to have to do
that though you should be able to trust
that these people that are being offered
up to you on apps are who they say they
are remember if you or anyone you know
is a victim of sexual violence help is
available call 1800 respect which is 1
800737732
hello I'm Amelia Adams thanks for
watching 60 Minutes Australia subscribe
to our channel now for brand new stories
and exclusive clips every week and don't
miss out on our extra minute segments
and full episodes of 60 Minutes on
9now.com.au
AU and the N now
coming up I met my rapist on a dating
app the sinister world of online love
he's almost a second global pandemic
exposing a virtual hunting ground one
click the stranger's already in the
bedroom where no one is safe she goes "I
went and met someone after school today
he wasn't a 15-year-old boy at all."
That's next on 60 Minutes
it used to be relatively easy when love
was in the air those lucky enough to be
touched by it simply got on with working
out its wonder now though love is just
as likely to be searched for on a
computer or smartphone and while there
are many many success stories this is
not one of them and that's because
online matchmaking has been well and
truly hijacked by evil internet dating
has led to an unprecedented rise in
sexual violence a wave of crime so
extensive and so serious experts are
likening it to a second global pandemic
and a warning this story is confronting
[Music]
longing for a loving hopefully long-term
relationship and looking for it online
is nothing unusual these
days it was actually my first time using
a dating app but even so when Sarah
Rosenberg matched with a man on the
dating app Bumble she was
apprehensive part excitement part nerves
she decided to take things slowly
how long after connecting or matching
online did you meet in person it was a
few months and once I saw him the first
time it didn't stop we saw each other
pretty much every day after
[Music]
that at first things went well but then
one night the unimaginable happened
sarah who was unwell told her boyfriend
she couldn't be intimate being
vulnerable sparked a violent assault
that would change her life
forever he was saying to me while he was
beginning to to thrust "I knew you never
loved me i knew you were thinking about
other boys when you were with me." I
started kicking my legs and trying to
get some leverage and and pull him off
me the details are confronting and it
gets worse it started escalating until I
was screaming in his ear stop and then
he put his hand around my throat and he
used my neck as leverage so he was
choking you while he was raping you yeah
and I was pulling and pulling and
finally he let go and I remember just
gasping for breath and he reached beside
my head and grabbed a pillow and he
slammed it on my face pressed his hands
down and smoothed it really tight and
pushed
and I remember when he was done he let
go and I just crumpled sarah is
incredibly brave to speak out sadly
she's one of a growing number of people
experiencing sexual violence after
meeting someone on a dating app the
Australian Institute of Criminology
surveyed 10,000 people and a staggering
74% had been on the receiving end of
sexual violence either online or in
person that's three out of four users i
think it's bigger than we could imagine
this is causing harm to emotional to
mental health to physical well-being at
a scale that that we I don't think we
could have ever predicted and that most
people professionals parents caregivers
are unaware of absolutely so it's going
to be really Doctors Joanna Tully and
Janine Rouse are forensic specialists
for the past decade they've been
treating a growing register of sex crime
victims who met their offenders online
sexual assault it seemed to me that
these victims had an added complexity to
their sexual assaults like there was an
added layer of shame um and stigma shame
that they had swiped right on um the
person that would eventually um sexually
assault them and just this difficulty
reconciling the violent sexual assault
that happened with the the charming
online persona of that person beforehand
they felt they really knew them
young single mom B was ready for a new
start when she started scrolling the
apps what were you looking for love yeah
probably desperately looking for love
she met up with her offender just hours
after matching online bee was hoping for
romance but he had other ideas i was
having a weekend away from my home with
family so I thought I'd meet up with
someone you know close by he was
handsome he had a job the conversation
was pretty normal flowed he didn't seem
to mind that I was a mother he looked
safe at what point did you start to feel
uncomfortable when he wanted to hook up
kiss uh I let that happen and I sort of
wanted to end it there um but he wanted
more in the car in public in the car
park and I said no but no he didn't want
to take no for an
answer so he hopped over the center
console
and laid on top of me in the front
passenger seat he really pressed himself
right down chest to chest making it
clear that I wasn't going to move um
that he had a power over me and then
that's when I
was freaking out in my head
um yeah will I get out of this car and
how much further is this going to go
be made it clear that I wasn't going to
leave without something
it was an awful predicament bee realized
too late that she was in danger and she
had no way of escaping he was like "Yeah
you're going to give me oral sex or I'm
just going to keep driving." And then he
did eventually pull over on the side of
the road
um and um had to give him what he wanted
and when he left you on the side of the
road how were you feeling
really really horrible disgusting
dirty disappointed in myself for putting
myself in that position where have we
got that these doctors hear stories like
these far too often and they're
determined to do something about it um
what do you see assuming you see the
very the very worst cases of users of
these sites who end up in in your
clinics there are cases for example now
multiple cases where victims have gone
to meet someone in real life and it's
not just that person that was there
they've invited multiple other buddies
um and the victim is sexually assaulted
by multiple people there are other cases
where the victim might go to the
offender's house and um you think that
things are going to be fairly relaxed
and they're going to have a meal etc and
and um the offender has has other ideas
and doors are locked and um that victim
is no longer free to leave the platforms
are being used to meet victims now it's
sharing images blackmail sextortion and
now we're even seeing instructional so
online space is being used to share
howto guides of how to sexually assault
people or how to facilitate um the
drugging of people to sexually assault
them i mean this is this is how quickly
the use of online spaces has evolved
for most who fall victim to sexual
violence the thought of pressing charges
is overwhelming be was too scared and
ashamed to report her incident or the
man
involved i just thought I'm so
stupid yeah you feel really really dumb
i should never have gotten in the car i
went home I had a shower and act like it
never happened there must be so many
cases that go unreported
absolutely i mean that's what we see is
the tip of the iceberg but it's long
been our concern that particularly for
technology facilitated sexual assault
there are those additional barriers to
reporting um and a lot of that um was I
complicit i I went there i I liked this
person i was um I connected I I shared
images i did all these things did I ask
for this is this my fault it's my fault
this is not their fault
perhaps most disturbing has been the
discovery that children are getting
caught up in this murky
world coming up the growing number of
kids meeting their abusers online with
one click in your room of your
child the stranger is already in the
bedroom
forensics is all about gathering
evidence as a specialist in child sexual
assault cases this is where Dr joanna
Tully does some of her toughest but most
important work and alarmingly she's
seeing an increasing number of underage
victims who have been active on dating
and social media
sites so how many of your assaults would
have some connection to an online site
so in our data of the children that um
came to us reporting a technology
facilitated sexual assault 50% of those
had met their offender using Snapchat
50% that's a huge number
and it's not just social media dr tully
says children are accessing adult dating
sites and the consequences are dire
you could argue that what we are
encountering here is almost a second
global pandemic of the 21st century in
terms of the sheer scale of child abuse
and exploitation in the online
space it's a terrifying reality mom
Allison has lived since her daughter
accepted a friend request from a boy who
said he was 15 on the messaging service
Snapchat 4 years ago her daughter was
looking for friendship they chatted for
just 5 days then agreed to meet up at a
train station where she was lured into a
toilet cubicle what happened next was
swift and
brutal he was actually 19 he wasn't a
15-year-old boy at all and he goes "We
need to find a room." And she's like
"What?" And then he he let her into the
cubicle and she froze he stood between
her and the door of the
cubicle
and he asked her to give him oral sex he
asked her to let him have anal sex with
her and also vaginal
sex and um he took photos throughout
getting her he knew exactly what he
wanted
traumatized alone and still in shock the
teenager made her way home and she went
to her room so I followed her said "What
happened?" She said "Nothing nothing
nothing i just need to have a shower i
just need to have a shower i just need
to have a shower." And I was like "Oh."
And then it came out in the next couple
of minutes
that that she'd been raped at a train
station by someone she had met online
and she said "I need to have a shower."
And I said "Well I'm only sorry darling
but you can't you can't have a
shower because I I know in my head you
need to do a rape kit." And I ran out to
the
street i grab my hand my phone and I
called
triple0 police went to the toilet
cubicle they collected evidence then
tracked down the man responsible but
under the consent laws at the time he
couldn't be
charged because she didn't fight because
she didn't verbally say no she they said
it's they're going to press charges he
got off it's got free he got interviewed
he said "Yep I did all of that." He
didn't deny any of it
people put a lot of money into having
security for their house and locks and
doors and cameras to keep people out you
don't realize that a a device in a
bedroom has already let the entire world
in and with one
click in your room of your
child the stranger's already in the
bedroom
it's one of the toughest areas for law
enforcement and no one knows that better
than Superintendent Jane Doaty as chief
of the New South Wales Sex Crimes Unit
she and her team see the very worst of
humanity and much of it is now
presenting online
in my 34 years of policing you think
you've seen it all and then you see
something else unfortunately there are
bad actors everywhere whether that's in
the real world or the online world um
and it's about us and everyone the
community the dating apps the e safety
the police everyone working together to
make it as safe as we can and one of the
biggest ways we can do that is
protecting ourselves and our children by
educating ourselves being aware of
things like mothers that are on dating
sites don't tell people about your kids
at the start because we do have
offenders that will start a relationship
with a single mother she thinks it's to
have a rel a romantic relationship with
her but it's actually about getting
access to their kids so it's about
making ourselves aware protecting
ourselves and and putting up that little
bit of a shield to make dating apps
safer Australia has a new code of
conduct which came into force last month
it's a world first and requires the apps
to keep a firm eye on users making
reporting easier and banning offenders
it sounds like a good step but here's
the catch for the app companies it's
voluntary
the bottom line is there is nothing to
stop a rapist or a domestic violence
offender from jumping on any dating app
matching with any woman or man and
repeating that behavior and that's where
the code of conduct for the apps comes
in in that once they're reported to them
they have certain obligations in terms
of enforcement though that code is is
pretty toothless isn't it well it's more
than we had previously and the e safety
commissioner are continuing to work to
strengthen their powers in relation to
those i mean surely there could be a
screening process where if you are an
offender there's got to be a red flag to
let other people on those sites know we
welcome all of these changes and we work
closely with e safety so that we make
sure that we're all moving in the same
direction
it's hardly surprising that a growing
number of Australians are moving in an
entirely different
direction amazing disenchantment with
the online experience has revived
in-person
matchmaking what are you looking for
tonight i think the same thing everyone
that's here is looking for really just
um a significant other something
meaningful uh someone to share your life
with really make sure your name tag is
clearly visible throughout the night so
your daters know who they're dating
tonight 26 strangers are meeting at a
Sydney bar hoping to form a connection
and there's not a smartphone in sight
[Music]
i'd say in the
past I'm talking about many Brenda Van
started her company dating apps suck 3
years ago after hearing and experiencing
disaster stories business has never been
better what do your events offer that
the apps
don't i would personally say it's that
human element so with apps everything's
been very digitized everything has pay
walls behind it they've gathed the
system of dating in order to make money
what sort of stories do your users tell
you about bad experiences well too many
to count women don't feel safe women
don't feel like they want to use the
apps anymore it's not trusted we don't
know who the guys are are the apps about
looking for love or looking for sex i
think it's both i think it gets the
lines are so blurred in there there's
people looking for love there's people
looking for sex and I found the biggest
challenge is for the people looking for
love to find the other people looking
for love come here sarah Rosenberg
thought she'd found love on an app but
ended up in a harrowing court process
after reporting that the man she met
online had violently raped her was he
charged he was charged of your assault
he was charged with two counts of rape
two of suffocation and two of strangling
ultimately Sarah didn't get the justice
she so desperately
wanted he was found not guilty on all
six counts a trial scheduled for 1 month
was collapsed in 7
days it really felt like a fast like why
are we even pretending rape is a crime
if this was going to happen and next
time maybe he'll have a knife and the
girl won't be so lucky and there'll be
really different charges that he's up
for
okay allison and her husband Rian tell
us their daughter has come a long way
since her attack now 21 she's working as
a nurse in the public health system
she's doing a great job but it it's been
a bit of a hard climb it's been a really
hard climb
these women have survived the very worst
modern technology has to
offer a space that's evolving at an
alarming pace with clearly inadequate
protections the challenge for us all is
to get ahead of it how do you approach
the apps now given your experience what
would be your advice for other users
trust your gut talk to your friends the
onus shouldn't be on us to have to do
that though you should be able to trust
that these people that are being offered
up to you on apps are who they say they
are remember if you or anyone you know
is a victim of sexual violence help is
available call 1800 respect which is 1
800737732
hello I'm Amelia Adams thanks for
watching 60 Minutes Australia subscribe
to our channel now for brand new stories
and exclusive clips every week and don't
miss out on our extra minute segments
and full episodes of 60 Minutes on
9now.com.au
AU and the N now
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